Antagony

I was listening to a man on campus the other night who quoted a man, who quote a man who said that all good stories have an antagonist. This, in fact, is one of those stories. Let me lay a backdrop.

I have a job (two in fact). One of those jobs comes with a perk. I get free tickets to any drama or musical held on campus. It's a pretty great deal if you are the type to attend productions on campus (I'm usually not the type).

A few weeks ago I went to the ticket office to try and cash in on some free tix. When I handed the teller my pass, she told me that I could not use that pass for anything other than the free events on campus. I told her that I had used the pass many times in the past for non-free events. I may have also questioned the purpose of a pass that only allows one to get ticket for free events. That day I walked away with a nemesis and no tickets.

That day began a silent battle with the ticket lady. Every day when I go to work I walk pass that countre and we both stare at each other. Neither of us have to say thing - we both know what the other is thinking. There (s)he is, acting like (s)he's better than I am - what an IDIOT.

Today, our conflict came to a head. I went to get tickets for the opera. I walked up the window - canned insults in hand. I asked for my tickets and she said they were not allowed. I explained that some of my colleagues had already redeemed their set of free tickets, and she was in fact misinformed. She held her ground and I held mine. Finally, I asked to speak with her boss. The main office attendant came around the corner and I knew what was about to happen. I showed her my pass, got my free opera tickets and went on my merry way. I beat the ticket lady.

I understand that at this point some of you are seeing dollar signs. If you're planning on turning this saga into a piece of great literature - send me a message, we'll work out a deal.

Bad Words

Lately I have been saying more offensive things than usual. I don't necessarily think I'm being offensive, but more people are offended by my words. I wonder why that's happening?

This "offensiveness" has been happening when the person I'm talking with and I have a "deal," or so I think. Generally, I start a conversation - an innocent conversation. As the conversation progresses, something is said to make me think the other person is open to joke or sarcasm. I test my hypothesis with a few light stabs - everything seems fine. Then, in the course of our conversation, some biting remark comes to my mind. I think to myself, "we've been joking for some time, surely they won't be offended by this comment." I spew the venom - low and behold they are offended. Awkward silence ensues. Then, I have to go on explaining that I was joking, I didn't mean what I said to be taken literally, etc.

I'm working on controlling my tongue, rather, what passes through it. I don't know why I thought I could say anything I want without any social ramifications. Maybe you're the problem.